Networking

I have been told by a number of people that I need to network. The group I've finally chosen is called Linkedin.

If you're a stay-at-home mom, you can use the site to reconnect with long-lost friends or to stay in touch with former colleagues. You might even be able to find a job you can do from home.

For those of you trying to get back out into the workforce (or maybe you're already out there), this site is amazing. I didn't really realize its exponential quality until I was looking through the job postings the other day. I have a number of connections in my network who then have other connections who then have other connections, etc. A friend of one of my connections has 400 other connections! That's a lot of people. Anyway, as I was looking through the job postings, Linkedin would show me the number of connections I had at the company in question. Suddenly I'm connected! I know people who know everyone.

There are also special interest groups you can join at Linkedin. Are you a teacher? A writer? Do you have an interest in Japan or horses? There's a group for you. In fact, there are so many possibilities that it's difficult to decide which groups to join.

Make sure to give Linkedin a try. I would highly recommend it.

Returning to the Work Force

Well, my terrific new preschool is now officially defunct. I had to finally face facts when September came around and I still didn't have any students. Since I closed the daycare in preparation for my new endeavor, I am now jobless.

So I am in transition. Returning to work after years of home-schooling is at once daunting and exhilarating. My youngest daughter is now begging to go to preschool and other than the soaring prices of childcare, there is not really any reason why I shouldn't work during the day. The only big question is what I can do that pays enough to afford the childcare? I'm working on it.

In any case, while I am cooling my heels at home, awaiting the enormous influx of calls, I have decided to get back to writing. The luxury of free time should not be wasted!

The Middle of the Night

I love being up in the middle of the night. The house is very quiet and I can write or ponder the events of the day. I peek in to check on the children every once in a while and watch their angelic faces in repose. It is the best time of the day for me.

Of course, staying up until the wee hours does have its drawbacks. I am sometimes very tired the next day, and a little irritable until I've had my morning coffe. The benefits make it worthwhile, though. This is my own, personal "me" time.

Since I've had children, I don't get away from the house much, not by myself anyway. I don't have girls' night out or go on dates with my husband very often. I don't have hobbies that I do alone (other than going to the gym). I'm not a big shopper. I do enjoy having quiet time alone, though, and this is how I get it.

Having time alone allows me to center myself. It lets me unwind and put everything into perspective. When I was younger I would go to the beach and sit on the cliffs overlooking the ocean or go hiking by myself. These things are now family activities, which is fine, but I feel distressed somehow if I don't get a little bit of time to myself each week.

Being a mom is all about compromise. It's about giving of ourselves and being available for our children. But we need to remember ourselves too. We need to remind ourselves that to be the best moms we can be, we have to find that little bit of "me" time.

Selective Senses

Isn't it funny that we can hear a newborn's whimper from 20 yards, but can completely block out the fracas caused by three or four 5-year-olds running through the house?

My eldest daughter's friend's mother brought my daughter home from a play date today. As we sat chatting for a minute on the sofa, our daughters and three preschoolers commenced running up and down the hallway, shouting enthusiastically. "I don't know how you do it," she said. "This would drive me completely crazy."

It does drive me a little crazy sometimes, but more often than not, I find myself just tuning it out. It's fairly easy to distinguish between a cry of pain or hurt feelings and a shout of joy and my ears are sometimes as deaf to the whoops as they are alert for the dismay.

This same sensory selectiveness occurs with vision and smells. A new mother can smell a dirty diaper across a crowded room, but might completely ignore the smell of wet dog after a summer rain. Blood is always an attention getter, but we might not even notice the disarray in the playroom. Well, maybe we notice it.

Perhaps our selective senses help to preserve us as we make our way through the terrible 2's, which I personally think should be called the terrible 3-5's. Are your senses selective? Do you find yourself just tuning out the ordinary chaos and focusing your radar on the unusual?

New Preschool

I have been teaching for most of my adult life and have finally found a way to incorporate my language skills, teaching experience and interests into a very worthwhile endeavor. In September, my new bi-lingual preschool will be opening. With Japanese classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and English classes on Tuesday and Thursday, the children who attend will be taught a well-rounded, fun curriculum by native teachers.

I am a little late getting the word out, as I had to wait for approval on our location, but have high hopes for good initial enrollment numbers. Also, since I have been so busy planning this program, I haven't had much time to keep my blog updated. I will try not to be away so long in the future.

If you would like to see more information about the new preschool, located in Portland, Oregon, be sure to check out the website at http://www.nikonikojuku.com/

Still Trying to Lose That Post-Baby Fat!

Well, my youngest just turned 4 and although I like to blame her for my figure, I think the statute of limitations has run out. If I'm not back in shape after 4 years, I'm going to have to take responsibility for it, right?

I finally joined 24-hour fitness and have started going at night, after I've tucked the girls in. I'm getting stronger and firmer, but I'll have to do something about my diet as well.

I've started using a website called The Daily Plate which allows you to track what you eat and the exercise you do. The basic service is free and I find it very motivational to have all of the numbers there in black and white. Input each food you put into your mouth and the program will put in the number of calories, fat, sodium, etc. Add your daily activities, such as stretching, vacuuming or playing golf, and it will subtract how many calories you used. You can input how many pounds you want to lose each week and the program will tell you how many calories you can eat. The more exercise you do, the more calories you are allowed. It even has a place to track how many glasses of water you've had for the day.

I'm hoping I can stick with it this time and lose this weight. If you want to join me, let me know. I'll post how I'm doing every once in a while, along with possible mom-related pitfalls.

Imaginative Play at the Park

It has been raining almost every day, but today we had a dry afternoon so I decided to take the children to the school yard across the street. I took 4 children, ages ranging from 4 to 7. We started out on the play structure, but when the after-school crowd showed up, we relocated to the grassy field.

What a ball we had! First we did log rolls. We laid flat on the ground with our arms above our heads and rolled and rolled and rolled. Then we moved on to crab walking and racing.

Our final activity lasted about an hour and attracted a number of the after-school children. There was dry grass, cut the previous day, lying about in clumps. One of the children decided to make a small nest. All of the children gathered straw and then picked some mushrooms for eggs.

I suggested that maybe we needed a bird and when two more children approached, one volunteered for the position. We then needed a much bigger nest which required a lot more straw-gathering. At one point we had 8 children participating, but the after-school leader came to fetch our new friends after a while.

We talked about how much work it must be for birds to build their nests, since they can only carry a small amount of material at a time. By the time we finished, we had a giant nest and all four children curled up in it and pretended to nap. They even created straw pillows.

It never ceases to amaze me what simple activities can spark imagination and create hours of lively fun.

Children with Sensitive Skin

My mother recently introduced me to a great product for children with sensitive skin. It is called NutriBiotic Non-Soap Skin Cleanser and can be purchased at health food stores.

If you worry about regular soaps drying out your children's face too much, but still want to keep them clean, this is a viable alternative. It's Hypo-allergenic and pH balanced and doesn't seem to sting their eyes.

Learning From Grandparents

Grandma and Grandpa are visiting this week from out of state. I love watching them play with the kids because they do special little things that I never seem to have time to do.

The other day I was loading clothes in the washing machine and saw my mother applying little dabs of her special face cream to my 7-year-old's face. The two of them were in the bathroom, leisurely going through this marvelous girl-ritual.

Grandma sits and plays restaurant with the girls while I am making dinner and Grandpa teaches them how to play card games and helps them with their art work.

The things they do are not out of the ordinary. They aren't things that we never do. Grandma and Grandpa just spend special time going the extra mile, lavishing their full attention on the children and making them feel special.

Watching them, I realize that I get so caught up in our everyday life that I have a tendency to forget the little things. With meals and baths and homework and activities, I forget to stop and pay special attention to the little details that make each of my children special individuals.

Perhaps we can all learn a little lesson from watching our children playing with their grandparents. We can take a step back and see the talents and sweetness in our children that we might sometimes overlook. I, for one, am going to make an effort to slow down my schedule a bit and spend that little bit of extra time.

Simple Lunch-Time Ideas

Having grown up eating a sandwich and carrot sticks or apple slices for lunch, I was completely stymied when my own children didn't care for sandwiches at lunchtime. Over the years, however, I have experimented with various foods and figured out some easy alternatives.

Pre-packaged food like macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets or Chef Boyardee are not good for them and don't taste very good either, but with a little bit of preparation, you can make a simple lunch that your children will love.

Here are a few simple suggestions:

• Tuna salad with Ritz crackers and slices of cheddar cheese
• Fruit salad with cottage cheese or plain yogurt and hard-boiled eggs
• Pizza toast made with Ragu pizza quick sauce, thinly sliced onion and cheddar cheese
• Roasted hot dogs cut in round discs with baked beans and cottage cheese
• Yaki soba made with extra vegetables; cabbage, onions, corn, green pepper, etc.

Fruit is always happily received. Whatever is in season and available is added to lunch; apples, oranges, grapes, strawberries, pineapple or mango are great. Lunch doesn't need to be a heavy meal, especially during the summer months. Just grab something simple and turn it into a tasty kid-friendly alternative.

Getting the Kids to Clean Their Room

I usually end up cleaning my girls' room four times a day, and at bedtime, it is messy again. We're not even mentioning the other rooms. I have always wondered how some women manage to keep a pristine home when they have two or three small children.

This week, I'm starting a new sticker reward program for my children. They will receive 3 stickers a day for

1. making their beds in the morning
2. putting things away when they are done using them
3. having a clean room at bedtime

There will be one more opening for extra effort, which could take the place of a missing sticker elsewhere.

At the end of each week, if they have earned all of their stickers, they will receive a small prize. At the end of each month, they will be able to earn a bigger prize.

The sticker reward system has worked very well for us in the past and I have high hopes for this project.

If you have a particular method that has worked well for you, please share it in the comments section.

Joyful Mess in the Mud

Yesterday I had 4 children at my house; my 2 and another 2 siblings. It was a very hot day and as they were playing outside, they discovered the water spicket.

We have recently planted grass, but as of right now, our yard is mainly dirt and weeds and the copious application of water made a very large mud puddle.

I wasn't too worried, figuring I could just wash off their hands and feet as I had the day before, with a bucket full of soapy water. Unfortunately, they took it a little farther yesterday, getting absolutely covered from head to toe. Hair, faces, clothes and extremities were smeared with brown, gloppy goo. Oh, man!

Wondering how I was going to get them all into the bathroom without getting mud all over the house, my eyes alighted upon the children's plastic swimming pool. I filled it with water and went for towels and wash clothes, instructing the children to go ahead and get in, clothes and all. (Most of the clothes came off, of course. What fun is it to get into a pool with your clothes on?)

I had to scrub pretty good, but finally all 4 of them emerged fairly mud-free, clean enough to enter the house in any case.

I am afraid that I don't always take these things in complete stride. I sometimes become a little stressed out and agitated, but the children had an absolutely wonderful time. Looking back at their happy little faces and the pure joy that only mud can bring, the clean-up was a small price to pay.

Moving Day

This week we have been moving. We're only moving two houses down, but the amount of work it is taking, shuttling things back and forth, is amazing.

Young children, of course, slow things down considerably. They want to help, but often end up sitting and unpacking something that has just been packed. During meals and nap time, parents have to work in shifts.

I started moving things on Friday morning. By Friday night, we had moved most of our things to the new house. On Saturday, we were shopping for items that were necessary to make the house livable and continuing moving the small things.

On Sunday, today, we spent the day cleaning the old house and trying to organize the new one. Tomorrow is a regular work day and we have to be pretty much settled.

The long hours and hard work are starting to show. The children are overly tired, arguing and fussing. Hopefully we will be done in a few hours and be able to take a breather.

We will be without an Internet connection until sometime late next week, so this will be the last post for a few days.

Easy Japanese-Style Stir Fry

If you like oriental food but don't know how to make it, I have an easy recipe that you can use with just about any kind of meat and vegetables. It tastes a little salty-sweet and is pretty healthy.

Ingredients:

1 pound of meat (beef, chicken or pork) sliced thin or cut up small.
Various vegetables cut up in small pieces - whatever is in the refrigerator. I normally put things like:

1 onion
as much garlic as you like
1-2 carrots
1/2 green pepper
handfull of green beans
some broccoli
beans sprouts if I have them
cut up spinach is also good - put it in at the end
a few stalks of asparagus
*grated ginger is also good

Sauce

3 Tbs. soy sauce
1 Tbs. sugar
2 Tbs. cooking sherry or mirin
small amount of dashi or chicken boulion granules
1 Tbs. sesame oil
2 tsp. corn starch


Directions:

Stir fry the vegetables in a large skillet until they are about half done. Remove them from the pan.
Stir fry the meat until done. Push it to the sides of the pan.
In the center, add the sauce and stir constantly until it is thick and bubbling.
Return vegetables to the pan and stir together.


Serve hot over white rice.

This dish is very tasty and if you cut the vegetables up very small your children will probably enjoy it as well.

Favorite Toys Don't Always Come From the Store

Although my children always want everything they see advertised on TV, the items they play with most are often strange things they find around the house.

Cardboard, in any shape or form, is always a favorite. Cardboard boxes, pieces of cardboard, or even toilet paper rolls. The scope of their imagination is amazing. Everything from forts and treasure boxes to signs and periscopes are created using this versatile material.

Some other items of interest are: rocks, flowers, bark, lids, corks, plastic strawberry containers, anything that can be made into a box, string, ribbons. The list goes on and on.

I do not give my children these items to play with. They pick them up, examine them, and come up with wonderful, unusual toys that keep their attention much longer than store-bought toys.

Make sure to always have glue, markers and children's scissors available and encourage creativity. Soon your house will be filled with the products of young, fertile imaginations!

Pretend Play

Young children love pretend play. It is important because it is one of the many ways they learn and grow. Playing chef, mommy and doctor are just a few of the many scenarios they come up with.

A big favorite with my children and their friends is dress-up. Even the boys join in, choosing cowboy hats, firemen's helmets, bandannas and capes. Since I have two girls, I keep all of their Halloween costumes in a large bin and add all of the additional sunglasses, bags and other accessories that migrate their way into our home. Just a scarf, hat and sunglasses is sometimes all it takes.

When children visit our home, the first thing they do is head upstairs for the dress-up box. An elaborate dressing-up commences and the costume of choice is worn for the entirety of their visit. There then ensue princess picnics, ballet dancing and doggy lassoing.

If you are looking for an activity that will provide hours of daily fun, try accumulating a box of your own. You will undoubtedly find amusement as well, when your children get into full dress-up mode.

Rainy-Day Fun

If your children are like mine, they get bored and stir-crazy when rainy weather hits. They don't want to sit and do crafts all day, they need to move!

The size of our house limits the amount of running and jumping the kids can do indoors, but using up some of that pent-up energy is a necessity.

Enter the obstacle course. You don't need a lot of room, just a measure of creativity. My most recent one consisted of: a pad where they did a somersault, sofa cushions to crawl over, a Barbie pop-up tent to crawl through, a plastic storage tub to climb over, a table to run around and an office chair to spin on.

The object was to go through the course, spin around on the chair two times and return the same way. I timed them with an alarm clock. That was the best part. Sweet competition.

I had four children in my living room taking turns and being timed. They kept it up for about forty minutes until they were all panting. Afterward, all four of them sat nicely and watched a movie, their energy balance restored to its normal level.

There is no limit to the type of course you can create. It can be as complicated or simple as you like, as long as it incorporates different kinds of movement and sparks the children's interest. Just jumping around or dancing is fun, but the addition of household objects seems to add an element of adventure.

Socializing With Other Moms

If you are a stay at home mom, you might find yourself craving the company of other adults, especially if you live in a rural area. Playing with your child is fun and rewarding, but there is a marked lack of intellectual stimulation.

The easiest way to spend time with other adults is to find a local mom's club or a playgroup. That way you and your child both get to socialize.

You can find mom's clubs in most locations, but if you don't have one where you live, you might want to consider starting your own. Mothers of all different ages and interests join these clubs and you are almost sure to find someone you connect with. Within these clubs, there are often many sub-groups with different interests and often they have an organized 'mom's night out' which offers the opportunity to get away for an evening of fun.

Play groups can also be a lot of fun for you and your child. You might find one through your mom's club. If you have an older child in school, you will probably meet a number of mothers with younger children there. Parks, mall play areas and library story times are also good places to connect with other moms.

Getting involved in some of these groups will offer the opportunity to socialize and also give you a network of support. You can bounce around ideas when dealing with child-related problems and share information about schools, doctors and part-time work. Your child will make friends and play happily, knowing you are nearby.

Time-Management for Homemakers

Do you find that there aren't enough hours in the day? After trying to spend quality time with your children while chauffering them to school and activities, keeping the house clean, making nutritious meals, giving baths and doing homework, the day is done and you've run out of time. Perhaps you feel that you don't have any time left over for yourself. When do you work, study, read, exercise or just take a shower?

One thing to remember is that children grow up fast. Spend quality time with them every day. Sometimes the housework can wait. Read with your kids. Teach them songs. Play blocks and Barbie dolls with them. You will have happier kids that are not as clingy and more willing to help.

That being said, here are some little tricks that might give you a few extra minutes each day:

• Make a cleaning schedule. Perform one or more tasks each day to keep on top of things. For example, you could vaccum on Mondays and Thursdays, dust on Tuesdays and Fridays, wash the kitchen floor and pick things up every evening, etc.
• Clean the kitchen while you're cooking. Once you have everything simmering or baking, wash dishes, wipe the counter and wash the floor while you wait.
• Start a production line. Have one child shower while the other is doing homework then switch.
• Think ahead. Make lunches the night before and do evening meal prep in the afternoon.
• Use nap time wisely. If you have a napper, use that time to take your shower or get in a little reading.
• Get the kids to help. Make cleaning a game and get your children to help pick up the toys before bedtime. Make a sticker chart and reward them for making their beds. Let one vaccum and the other dust. It might not get done to your standards, but they will feel helpful and the house will look a little better.

Most of my personal work gets done either at night or on the fly. If I can't get it done in a few minutes here and there, I do it after the kids are in bed. Trips to the gym and work on my novel have to be scheduled in after 8 pm and yes, there are times I don't get enough sleep.

Choose your priorities. What is most important? What can't wait? What will cause your life to completely fall apart? Make sure these essential things get done and do the rest as time permits. Remember, all mothers go through the same thing and most have made it to the grandmother finish line!

Martial Arts for Children

Enrolling children in some form of martial arts has many benefits. First, it is very good exercise. It helps them stay fit and develop strength, balance and flexibility. Also, children will make friends and develop self-confidence as they progress through the ranks. Another major benefit is that children will learn to defend themselves.

Kung Fu, as well as many other martial arts, incorporates running, push-ups, sit-ups, stretching and many kinds of jumps and kicks. Children learn to push themselves and train to be able to reach farther. They attain a level of fitness that will serve them for a lifetime.

Upon entering the class, children are often shy and worried about looking foolish. Once they begin learning, however, and new students join, they begin to relax and enjoy themselves. Kung Fu begins without a belt and the children are able to earn a white belt as soon as they learn the basics. This is very encouraging and serves to give them a quick boost of confidence.

Martial arts teach discipline and respect. Children (and adults) are taught not to use their skills outside of the school, except in defense of themselves or others. Children who study martial arts are not taught to be bullies. They are taught the skills and confidence that enable them to defend themselves in dangerous situations.

If you are looking for an activity for your child, I would strongly encourage martial arts. I am partial to kung fu, as it seems to incorporate elements of sports, dance and gymnastics, creating a well-rounded experience. There are many different styles, however, and you should look into which would be most suitable for your individual child.

Fun New Recipe - Okonomiyaki

Okonomiyaki is sometimes referred to as a Japanese pancake. Trust me on this, it tastes nothing like the pancakes we know. If you would like to make something fun and different for lunch or dinner, give this recipe a try.

Ingredients:
1 package of bacon, cooked and cut in pieces
3 cups flour
1 tsp salt
4 eggs
1-1/2 cups water
1 head of cabbage, sliced thin

Optional Ingredients:
asparagus, cut in very small pieces
chopped green onion
Japanese ginger pickles
various seafood; shrimp, squid, crab, etc.

Toppings:
katsuoboshi (optional)
Bulldog, semi-sweet sauce or tonkatsu sauce (necessary)

Instructions:
Mix eggs and water together
Mix flour and salt together
Pour flour mixture into egg mixture and stir until smooth
Add bacon, vegetables, and seafood if desired
Use cooking spray or oil and heat frying pan on medium
Cook about 1/4 of mixture at a time, place in center of pan and make round like a pancake
Cook on one side for about 5 minutes or until edges are solid
Turn over and cook other side until center is firm

Serve with optional katsuoboshi fish flakes and Bulldog sauce.

My children love this. It is one of their favorite foods. Next week I'll give you the recipe for their very favorite - watch for Gyouza.

Sidewalk Chalk

My children love sidewalk chalk. They can play with it for hours and I know that the next time it rains it will be washed away.

Of course, drawing is always fun but there are many more things you can do with sidewalk chalk. It can be used to trace around our bodies as we lie on the ground, thus creating a picture to color in. Also, we can use it to make a hopscotch or four square game. We can draw a road to drive toy cars around or an obstacle course for riding bicycles.

If you find yourself without anything to do some sunny afternoon, grab a tub of sidewalk chalk and sit with your children in your driveway. Start drawing and talking about what you can draw and before you know it everyone will join in.

Arts and Crafts at Home

Whether you are running a daycare or just hanging out with your toddler, arts and crafts are a favorite pastime.

The toilet paper roll animals in this photo were made by the children in my daycare. They are free printable activities from DLTK Kids

Another activity from the same site is making paper bag puppets.

If you would like some good ideas, there are many websites which offer free ideas, along with complete instructions.
















Check out some of the sites below:

• Preschool Education
• Love to Know Crafts
• Making Friends
• Craftown

Once you have gotten through all of these crafts, you will be an old hand and can probably come up with some of your own!

Of course, the old standbys like finger painting, Play Doh and Spirograph are all great too.

Staying (getting) in shape

Since mothers of young children are usually on-call all day, it's sometimes difficult to find time for exercise. I never could figure out how to get to the gym or go walking without getting up at 4 a.m. or staying up until midnight. That's what I do, of course. I have finally joined a gym and I go at 9 p.m. every night. I tried doing it the morning but it was just too much. If you don't want to go to the gym though, there are a few creative alternatives you could consider.

• Watch your children and do what they do - children are in constant movement; wiggling, bouncing, climbing, rolling, lifting their legs, bending, swaying.
• Do an exercise video or DVD with your child. If he/she is cooperative, you can do something like yoga or Taibo together. Your child might get a kick out of it.
• Chase after a ball or play on the playground with your child.
• Play games like tag or follow the leader, or dance to a CD in the living room

The only rule about losing weight and staying in shape is; if you use more calories than you consume, you will lose weight. You might as well have fun while you're at it!

Love those Band-Aids!

Have you ever noticed how much children love bandages? I can't keep them in the house. God forbid I get the kind with pictures of princesses or Dora. The kids will play with them, putting them on imaginary wounds and patching up their dolls.

If I put them up and say, "Quit using all the Bandages. We won't have any when we actually need them." My kids will invent reasons why I need to take the bandages out again.

"Ow-y mommy. Look. Right here."
"Where? I don't see anything.?"

Next I am being shown a faint scratch or a scab from 3 days ago.

"Right here mommy. It really hurts. Ple-e-e-ease."
"Oh for heaven's sake," I say. "That isn't even bleeding. Band-Aids are for things that are bleeding."
"I really need it," they'll say. "Ple-e-e-ease"

And, well, it really depends on how strong I'm feeling that day, but they'll often end up sporting one more bandage - or two.

Racing into the future

Today my older daughter ran laps for the arts. She had a handful of sponsors and for 30 minutes she ran. She looked like a marathon runner, her long, thin legs stretched out as she put her heart and soul into her task. I was so proud watching her.

Afterward, I went to find her. There she stood all alone, looking as if she were contemplating the meaning of life.


"Hey, are you okay?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"You did great out there."
"Thanks."
"Are you sure you're okay? You're being awfully quiet."
"I'm fine."

She's so young. 7 years old. She's always seemed older than her years and I expect so much of her, but she's still my baby. Every once in a while she'll crawl up in my lap and just want me to hold her and I get a little teary. Childhood passes so quickly and soon she'll be racing off toward the rest of her life without me. It's at these times that I just want to stop time and let her know how very special she is.

Giving equal attention to your children

Someone recently asked me how he could give equal attention to all three of his children. "There don't seem to be enough hours in the day," he said. I though about that, then talked to some people and searched the internet. The best answer I could find is: You can't.

Each child has his or her own needs at any given time and there aren't enough hours in the day to give each child the exact same attention. The best you can do is to make sure that all of your children feel loved and cared for. If you are coaching your eldest son's basketball team this season, perhaps you can volunteer to lead your daughter's bluebird group next summer.

Make sure to spend time with all of your children; reading, singing and playing. You can go on outings as a group. Perhaps a trip to the zoo or a picnic would be fun.

Schedule one day a month per child to do something special, one-on-one. Your spouse should do this as well. This could be anything from going to a sporting event to getting a manicure. It doesn't matter what the activity, only that you are spending quality time together and making each individual child feel special.

Sneaking in the veggies

Vegetables are a very important part of our diet. Low in carbohydrates and high in fibre, they contain many vitamins and minerals such as Calcium, Vitamin A, Vitamin B, Iron, etc. The list goes on and on.

MyPyramid.gov has a plethora of vegetable-related information.

Both of my children, at one time or another, have refused to eat vegetables. Our evening meal usually contains the balance of their daily vegetables, so I work hard to get in as many as possible. Sometimes they will eat a little salad, and they are required to eat the miso soup (in which I put just about everything-from bean sprouts and onions to asparagus and green beans). Even if they just drink the soup and leave the vegetables, I figure some of the vitamins must have cooked into the broth.

Sometimes I make steamed vegetables but they largely remain uneaten, so I try to sneak in as many as I can. Grated carrots can be put in anything from meatloaf to spaghetti. Asparagus can be cut up very small and put in stir-frys, soup or pasta salad and I just figured out a new one: When making stir-frys, I add in chopped up spinach at the end. It gets smaller and soft and blends in so well with the food that it's not very noticeable and difficult to pick out.

I know one mom who keeps jars of baby vegetables handy to secretly mix into food.

I looked around on the web to see what some other moms are doing and most of them seem to be doing more or less what I am. I did come up with this partial list of alternative ideas:

• In a US News article last December, biopsychologist Julie Mennella is quoted as saying, "You can't mask the flavor if the goal is to get kids to eat fruits and vegetables." "Plus, by not being shown the pleasures of eating produce," the article continues, "children miss out on one of life's delights. Who wouldn't want to swoon over artichoke hearts or savor a sun-ripened fig?"

• Safer Child, Inc. introduces "The No Thank You Bite." Make it a rule for your child to eat at least one bite of everything on the plate and gradually he will discover that some of them aren't so bad. They wrote that it might take some hysterics and timeouts, but if you stick to it, your child will stop fighting it and it will become a rule. They also suggest introducing new foods every few days so your child gets used to trying new things.

• Barbara Clark at Associated Content suggests homemade soup with lots of vegetables before the evening meal.

A neat website for parents and kids is The Kid Zone by the Arizona Food Network. There is information for parents and activities and games for children.

Sleep? What's that?

When our children are infants, we don't sleep. We know it's this way, we expect it. What we didn't know was that in order to have some alone time, read, go to the gym, study or play computer games, we have to give something else up.

We can't give up housework...or can we? No. We can't stop changing diapers or making meals. We still have to help with homework and give baths. The only thing we can give up without anyone complaining is sleep.

Sleep. I go for days, or sometimes weeks, with only 5 or 6 hours a day. Then I crash. My husband comes home from work one day and I say, "I have to go lay down. You can take care of dinner, right?" Off I go. I lie down and sleep for 12 hours straight. What an absolutely marvelous feeling!

I've tried to go to bed on time every night, but then I can't get any of MY stuff done. I start feeling antsy. The computer calls to me... Oh, who needs sleep anyway?

The initial quandry: to work or not to work?

Most women who have a career, whether it be as a secretary or a lawyer, think that they'll go right back to work after they have their first child. I did. But once she was born, I couldn't bear to leave her. My husband and I needed the extra income, but couldn't justify having her raised by someone else. If you have a high-powered, well-paid career as a doctor, lawyer, or executive, you won't want to give up your position. In this case perhaps you hire a nanny or have your partner stay home with the baby. The decision is pretty clear. For the majority of working moms, however, that $10-15 an hour job just doesn't seem worth it. After we are finished paying for childcare, dry cleaning and gas, there's not really much left over. We are working 40 hours a week in order to pay someone else to raise our newborn child. I decided to stay home but needed an income so, over the course of the next 7 years, I tried all kinds of alternatives.

• Freelance proofreading
• Selling health products
• Running a Kindermusik program
• Working part-time as a tutor

When I finally decided I had to go back to work I was in for a very big shock. My experience was dated. Most employers seemed to think that I had either become senile or forgotten everything I ever knew about personnel and accounting. My options consisted of low-paid, menial jobs that neither challenged nor motivated me. I was paying more for daycare than I was making. What did I do?

• Openned a small daycare
• Started writing; articles, short stories, novels

Some of the children I watch have single mothers who work and go to school. The level of determination and hard work I see in these young women is inspiring. They are striving toward a better life for themselves and their children. These moms have to be away from their children for a certain amount of time each week, but with the rising popularity of online education, they juggle their hours to spend the maximum amount of time with their kids.

I am lucky and have been very blessed to have been able to stay home with my children. They drive me a little crazy sometimes, but I love them and wouldn't have it any other way.